Sexy Nuns and The Useless Catholic Church

Catholics: no old chicks

The following set of emails was sent in by a reader who I’ve renamed Rey. I’ve also taken out any of the incriminating return emails and names as I’ve no desire to tangle with the Catholic Church in question.

The story here, is that Rey’s mother had been a parishioner (“member” for the uninitiated) of this church since the family moved to the neighborhood and they’d held Mass at the local high school more than fifty years ago. His mother had dutifully donated money to the eager baskets every Sunday of those fifty years. Mother now 90 and in failing health, Rey opened up to the Church, thinking they would be able to help his mom in her twilight years.  Alas, the true nature of the Church was to be revealed…

Your Name*:

Rey S

Subject*:

Elderly assistance?

Comments*:

Hi, I just visited my mom last week (I live in California) and while walking out of Sunday mass she told me she needs help looking for a hearing aid. She never asked for help before; suddenly it occurred to my dull head that she's 90 and could use an occasional assistant- someone to drive her a few places, wait while she gets her things done, maybe help around the yard so the handymen she hires don't get carried away. Would you be able to help me with this? Do you have volunteers? Do you have programs for the elderly? Any help is of course appreciated.

Thanks- Rey

Ermahgerd

 From: Webmaster [mailto:webmaster@***.org]
Sent: Wednesday, August 25, 2010 2:31 PM
To: ***@yahoo.com
Cc: Fr. Peter
Subject: Re: Contact Webmaster: Elderly assistance?

I have forwarded your message to our pastor, Fr Peter J

~ Webmaster

You have got to be joking. Help? You?

From: Fr. Peter

To: ***yahoo.com

Sent: Tuesday, September 7, 2010 8:58 AM

Subject: hello

Rey check the village of *** website for services for mom.  Thanks   We bring communion , sacraments, etc. but not help with hearing aid, etc.  You may need to hire a caretaker for your mom.  We will pray for Mom!

Gee thanks... prayer helps so much

----- Forwarded Message -----

From: Fr. Peter < >

To: Rey ***>

Sent: Tuesday, September 7, 2010 12:20 PM

Subject: RE: hello

Rey  does your mom get a priest, clergy or communion minister visit?  Could she use a drive for a couple months from a parishioner?

Please give us moms name , number address to make sure our records are correct  your name and number for emergencies in our parish files.  It would be nice in case she does not or not able to give that you can give a monthly check on here behalf to the Church.  We also have electronic giving here.  does this help?

Fr. Pete

Does this help?

So there you go. You say you have a 90 year old mother in need? And she’s been a member of our church for over fifty years… Gosh I’m sorry, we only offer Bibles and Bullshit. And your mom can’t even give any more money, so sad. Now if you have any cash you’d like to part with…

Bibles and Bullshit. How about a few more pics to illustrate the costumed fools that the Catholic Church has become. Sorry, Rey. Hope things work out in spite of these assholes.

Remember, every time a bell rings, an angel picks your pocket.

Watch your wallet