The Continuing Tales of Awesome Dogs

From the continuing tales of Awesome Dogs:



not here, mister

 Treo the Bomb-sniffer

Treo is a retired member of the British military, and a decorated war hero. The black Labrador was a member of the 104 Military Working Dog Support Unit and served in Afghanistan. There, the trained sniffer twice found hidden bombs in Helmand province in 2008. Treo was awarded the Dickin Medal, the highest military honor for an animal in Britain, in 2010. Sgt. Dave Heyhoe was Treo's handler in the military, and the two served together in Northern Ireland before being shipped to Afghanistan. When both completed their military service, Treo went home to live with Heyhoe, who said Treo's action saved the lives of many soldiers.

 Yet they overpopulate the doggie orphanage.

This soldier just arrived home from Afghanistan. Yeah. His best friend was waiting. 

 

A deaf-mute goes into a hardware store. He wants to buy a pencil sharpener, so he walks up to the clerk, sticks a finger in his ear and rotates his other hand around his other ear. The next customer is a blind man. How does he let the clerk know he wants a pair of scissors?

Sweet, sweet irony:

Q. How does Chris Hansen, the "To Catch a Predator" predator, tell his wife of thirty years that he's cheating on her?


Hey I'm over 18

 A. By getting caught on hidden camera, naturally.

He and his wife, Mary Joan Hansen, live in Connecticut with their two sons.

At least they did.

Getting caught with a 30 year old blonde in Florida, may interrupt that gig.

Snus and the Talking Dog

Get out of the way next time, Jerks.

If you smoke you've probably heard of Snus. Here's an excellent 60 Minutes report on it for those of us who don't. Smoke, that is. 

And if you're on the fringes of addiction, there are new products on the tobacco market. Dissolvable tobacco, reminiscent of candy cigarettes. It's never been so easy to get cancer. Just ask this guy. 

Does she really have crystals coming out of her eyes? And if she does, why? Is it magic? Are they worth money? Is it a religious miracle? In that part of the world it is notoriously difficult to track down the real story, but some would say that the father pushed those crystals in there himself. In any case, the magic has stopped. 

Pushing crystals into his daughter's eyes, sure that's nasty, but then there are these Mothers of the Year from our local California desert:

Sheriff's deputies arrested a Victorville mother after she took her 12-year-old daughter to fight another 12-year-old, officials said. Shawnah Foster, 31, took her daughter to a park near Burwood Avenue and Glen Canyon Lane for the fight, according to San Bernardino County Sheriff's Department Victorville station officials. Witnesses at the park reported that when Foster's daughter appeared to be losing, Foster jumped in and grabbed her daughter's opponent by the hair, pulling the juvenile away from her daughter and slapping the victim in the face, sheriff's officials said.

Gosh if only there were a video.

This. Dog. Talks. Amazing.