Things Women Say That Piss Off Men: Money

"You don’t make enough money."

That's not enough

Actually, she’ll never come out and say this to you. She’ll infer it; you’ll understand it; but it’ll never be said. You’ll finally get it after she leaves you for another guy. After, of course, taking you for what little you’ve got.

This is when a woman is at her worst. She sees a guy with no funds to make her happy in the manner to which she’s become accustomed, but she’ll date him anyway. Why? Any number of reasons. She’s bored. She’s between boyfriends. Her current boyfriend is out of town maybe, and she doesn’t like to be alone. Meanwhile, you spend every penny of your spare cash to take her to nice restaurants, buy her little presents, maybe take a couple of trips. But as that credit card balance is going up, her respect for you is plummeting. 

I know you’re not getting any

You don’t make enough money for her. Your clothes show it, your friends show their lack of sophistication, and your apartment looks like it was modeled from a college dorm. You have gotten rid of those cheesecake posters right? The ones with the oily girls…

Your car’s not good enough

Sorry Pard. Time to part with those things. They don’t show your studliness, your appreciation for the female form; they only show that you’re not getting any. Stash them deep in the Man Cave. Same as those Angel/Devil decals on your car. Tacky. You know how you’d feel if your lady drove up with an outline of a guy’s Schnitzel on her back window? Would you want to get in and drive around? Maybe you would. But you'd look like an asshole. Just like you do with your little nude girl decals.

You’re not my daddy

And yes, by the way: your car isn’t quite good enough either.

It’s okay though, all is not lost. You may fall short this time, but don't despair. Take the bruised ego and let her fly once she finds her cash-making Alpha Male. In a few years you’ll marry someone just like her, when she figures out that money wasn’t everything.

Of course by then, she’ll be carrying around Alpha’s kid…

Things Women Say That Piss Off Men: Boyfriend

Thanks for the movie

"My Boyfriend."

Number One. Do I really need to go on? How many of us have started chatting up a girl only to be hit by this bullet? Maybe she was bagging your groceries, maybe counting out your money at the bank. Perhaps she was sitting next to you in your Astronomy class. Whatever she was doing, it was clear that what she was not doing, was going out with you. She was just making that crystal.

But what if she had? What if you secured a date and went out with this girl? There you are, post movie, sharing a couple of coffees and trying to keep the conversation going, then WHAM there it is. "My Boyfriend." What the hell?

Oh, you think, as you try to pull yourself together. After all, you still want to come across as cool and worthy to this babe. Maybe she didn't know this was a date. I didn't make myself clear. I didn't make my motives known. She thought we were two friends going out.

Gosh, a walk on the beach sounds nice…

Bullshit. You and she both knew what this was. When two single people of the opposite sex get together, and to further clarify, when they barely know each other and they go out to share an evening, it's not a business dinner, it's not a coworker convention, it's not a baby shower. It's a date. And this girl just told you that she has no interest in you. None. When she figured that out, was most likely about thirty seconds before she casually worked the word "boyfriend" into the conversation.

So what do you do now? The question is rhetorical, son. Because I'll tell you what you did. You sat there and listened to her stupid chatter, her gassy laughter, her overconfident spew while you licked your emotional wounds and wondered why every girl you go out with has a boyfriend. You paid for the movie, the coffee, and you probably even walked through the mall and bought this twit another little prize to take home with her.

You really don’t have to buy me that ring, but… okay.

Because you're a fool and a glutton for punishment.

What should you have done? Simple. Get up and walk the fuck out. Because this gal is now wasting your time- and your money. You want to be noble? Sure, I can bite. Call her a cab and pay for it. If you don't want to confront this self serving princess on her selfish comment, then excuse yourself, find a waiter, a barista, or the manager, and let him do the dirty work. It's not the first time they'd heard it. Give the guy a good tip on your way out and don't look back. And do not for a moment, believe the movies. There is no second chance with this woman; you will not meet her in a bookstore one day and laugh about your terrible date; you will not end up marrying her and tell your kids how you hated each other at first.

She’ll see what a great guy you are

But let's dissect the above. How did you end up in the situation? Did she drop the BF bomb from the beginning and you continued talking to her? The BF remark should be a big clue: You're Out. Every second more talking to this chick is a second off your life you're not getting back.

If she did, she mentioned him yet you still asked her out, well... you reap what you sow. I know what you thought. You thought, you'll become friends, she'll see what a great guy you are, then one rainy September night, your faces will meet...

You’re a really nice guy

I told you to stay out of the movies. She said she had a boyfriend, you asked her out, you paid for everything because you're just a generous guy, aren't you. But you're not. You had designs. You were lying to her from the beginning about your intentions. You don't care about some guy you haven't seen, you want to slip into her comfort zone any way you can, then pounce. Or as is more your style, hope against hope that she'll do the pouncing.

So does she have a boyfriend? Well, there's a slim chance that if you thought she was attractive enough to start wishing that boyfriend was you, then, yes. She does. And either he doesn't know about her soirees or he's dumb enough to believe that every male friend of hers that he's never met is gay. Why she went out with you in spite of the guy is a many sided apeirogon (look it up). Maybe she's bored (the winner). Could be she's looking for someone just a little better- oh- and you're not it. She may just hate being alone. It doesn't matter, does it?

But if she's in that danger zone, that fifteen minutes ladies experience between boyfriends when they're just out there accepting free dinners and presents dates, then no, she doesn't have a boyfriend. She told you she does, because she knows that boyfriend, wherever he may be and whenever he shows up in her life, will never be you.

Your boyfriend.

Indeed.

Hello Kitty Nailapalooza!

Hello!

Hello Kitty Finger Nailapalooza!

Hello Kitty is named after one of Alice's cats in Through the Looking Glass (Alice in Wonderland).

You can't see Kitty's mouth. Why? Because she speaks from the heart.

Hello Kitty's name is actually Kitty White!
Her twin sister's name is Mimmy, who wears a bow on her right ear- so you can tell them apart (Mimmy actually shows up quite often).

Kitty is in the third grade.

The first time anyone saw Kitty, was in Japan in 1974, on a coin purse...

Am I really telling you anything you don't know?

YouTube Hello Kitty Nail Art Tutorials!

All this made me a little hungry...

aaaaaannnd, 

the Zombie Kitty Cake.