Say 'Carmageddon' one more God damn time

I dare you

The 405 is closing this weekend so CalTrans can blow up a bridge. For weeks now the media has been spewing 'Carmageddon,' and I hope whoever coined that damn phrase is making some money.  

News media has a very, very difficult time coming up with anything new though. They like their catchphrases, sound bytes, and to dig up old tired crap for filler stories.

But they're only part of the problem. With all the information outlets available today you'd think we could get new stuff every minute. But we don't. Same tired crap every day. Same news, same stories, same music on the radio. So I patched together a quick list of things I never want to hear again, in no particular order:

1. Carmageddon

2. That anything has gone Viral

3. 'Bang a Gong' by T Rex

4. The words Housing Market

5. That you're going to school

6. The words "President Obama"

7. Facebook

8. Crap you say about your kids

9. Anything about Harry Potter or Twilight

10. The World Cup

While I'm at it, it would be nice to never see this goddam thing again either:

Because it frightens me. So I have to imagine it as something less scary:

See, now not so bad.

Okay I'm hearing someone talk about her Mom having to go to the bathroom, and I don't want to anger the population by being in here blogging while they're working.

Alligator Bites Arm Off Snorkeler

From South Carolina:  

 Summer, 2007: They were feasting on roast pork and dancing around the picnic table at Lake Moultrie when a man in snorkel gear stumbled through the tree line, grasping at his left shoulder where his arm used to be.

Blood gushed from between his fingers. “Call my wife, call my wife,” the man said through a snorkel mask.

Five nurses who were among those at the gathering quickly laid the man on the ground. They put ice on his wound, instructed him to take deep breaths and told him stories to keep him awake.

One of the picnickers, Jerome Bien, traced the bloody trail through the trees and to the shore where he saw a pool of blood in the sand. About 25 feet out in the water in front of him, the eyes of a giant alligator stared back. The victim’s arm remained clenched in its jaws. 

Officers from the state’s Department of Natural Resources shot the 550 pound reptile, cut it open, and removed Hedden’s arm from its stomach, then placed the arm in a picnic cooler and rushed it to the hospital with a police escort. 

Doctors decided against attempting to reattach the arm, however.

How Did They Get There?

Hopefully we can get these poor things out of there before they cause any damage!